my only weakness is you...

i dont know what i could say, i dont know what i want anymore, i dont know is you still want to talk to me, i dont even know if you still like me.
but what i do know is that i want to be with you, i know i should keep my distance but its unbearable, i know im probably trying too hard, and i know im still in love.
theres so many things that i know and want and dont get me wrong i understand you too youve told me over and over er twice but still first time hit hard. its hard to be "just friends" theres so many things i wish i could do to show you i care. i guess theres too many things im doing right now to show you i care but like i said trying too hard. i dont know what im going to say to you tomorrow, i hope that things will be better. im sorry about yesterday i shouldnt have come. i guess i was still excited in a way because of a chance that i get to see you and talk to you, but even then it was a "just stop". i didnt want to hurt you more so i thought it was best if i just left. after that i just sat in the parking lot cause i just couldnt drive away. you were like in the mile radius and i just couldnt go. then i guess i heard something that iono wasnt the best thing probably worst thing so far, not going to say it here but yeah. apparently people have been saying its your fault and everything but dont listen to them...and to the others who could be reading this.. this isnt her fault its mine cause i didnt give her the care she deserved in the first place, eventually lead to this so stop blaming. i know that ive been talking to alot of people to try and get my actions and emotions under control, all of them helped me alot so i thank those who did. i know i should be listening to them but its hard [obviously]. and now i dont want to bother other people so im venting through blogger...yeah.. i didnt want to wake up today at nine cause you had your family thing and first thing i thought of was should i talk now or not... i honestly dont know what to say to you, i just want to try and fix this, is it possible to get things back to what they were? or am i just hoping for too much? this is probably too much and i shouldnt even be doing this. you say i should move on with my life and find my other options, i dont care if theyre better, i just want to care for you, and im willing to wait even though there is that slim chance. and youre not ready to close off yours and figure yourself out, i understand that but its really hard to accept. i know that you have alot of stress and thats one of the reasons you told me and im just adding on, so just know that i love you and until tomorrow or whenever you want to talk ill be here. i dont know what i can possibly say or do that can get us back together, but im still going to try for a chance of us.